


Those Damned Geese

by Little_Leeu



Series: Untitled Shinra Goose [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Destruction, Funny, Humor, Karen - Freeform, Light-Hearted, Mystery, Quote: Honk (Untitled Goose Game)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28901802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Leeu/pseuds/Little_Leeu
Summary: The Goose is back and this time they brought a friend!The chronological day by day story of events of when Geese infiltrated Shinra HQ and caused Chaos AGAIN!
Series: Untitled Shinra Goose [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119638
Comments: 19
Kudos: 28





	1. incident report code 0XF1

Shinra Electric Power Co incident report code 0XF1 

Incident: 

Over the last 24 hours, there has been a steep rise in items going missing, with some turning up either broken, or in unexpected places. Some of the odder are detailed below 

The car and bike dealership on the ground floor reported the following: 

3 vehicles with flat tyres 

1 pushed over a motorcycle 

1 car with the handbrake released 

Note, this cause it to roll off the stand, knocking over an old lady who was looking at our 3 wheeled kei truck range. 

Reception reported the following: 

-Card key missing, Security disabled it. Before disabling, it was tracked going into the maintenance stairwell 

-A visitor kept saying his shoelaces were untied by a bird. This has piqued securities interest due to a previous incident see: HR Report: Incident 9735

The underground car park security reported the following: 

-Many stacks of boxes had been knocked over 

-A pallet of barrels that was incorrectly secured fell off the back of a lorry on the way out. A Security guard injured. The driver swore she’d tied everything down tightly 

-A vehicle owned by the Turk, Rude, had minor damage done to it when another driver swerved to avoid “something white and orange” 

Expenses: 

-Tyres: 3 x 1,000 gill 

-Motorcycle cosmetic repair: 5,000 gill 

-Drivetrain repair to vehicle that fell of stand: 20,000 gill 

-Misc box replacement: 253 x 5 gill 

-Barrels of Shinra Research material: 5 x REDACTED VP Hojo 

-Compensation claim: 1,500,000 gill 

Resolution: 

\- Upped security and CCTV recordings handed over for analysis


	2. Incident report code 0XF2

Shinra Electric Power Co incident report code 0XF2 

Incident: 

The security division’s worst fears have come to light as honking was once again heard through the ventilation systems of Shinra HQ. Two distinct calls can be heard along with thudding, crash noises and the confused shouts of alarm by maintenance personnel. 

Designation Honk-1 appears to have returned with another species, presumably the male, which has been given the designation Honk-2. 

A maintenance contractor has submitted a written report detailing how he was ‘tortured’ by the two assailants for almost an hour. See report code 0XF2-A. 

Other reports that have come in from the maintenance department: 

-Flooded lower staff room. 

-Sink left on with the drain blocked by a rag 

-All mop heads missing 

-Maintenance department wind Materia unaccounted for 

-Two staff members locked inside locker room, Note - Unknown if this is related, or an excuse as found in compromising situation, investigation pending 

-Clipboard stolen from the hands of a foreman, Note - Later located in toilets 

Expenses: 

-Staffroom repairs 25,000 gill 

-Carpets 10,000 gill 

-Painting 5,000 gill 

-Broken electronics 7,500 gill 

Rag removal 2,500 gill 

-Compensation to contractor (see 0XF2-A) 100,000 gill + 1 months paid leave 

Resolution: 

-Ongoing issue. 

Personel report 0XF2-A 

Name: Desmond Light 

Department: Maintenance 

Job: Foreman 

Report: 

So, I was checking over the ventilation shaft between maintenance storage and the upper floors, when I heard the sound of what I thought to be wererats knocking something over. This wouldn’t have been the first time we’ve had these issues with wererats, if only they’d send some help. But this time, it wasn’t wererats, but two large white birds with orange beaks. One of them opened up its wings and honked while running towards me and the other lowered it’s head and charged faster than you could ever imagine. It went straight for me and knocked me into a pile of boxes. By the time I realised what had happened, I was on the floor, with one of the creatures trying to pull off my shoe and the other waddling off with my clipboard. Fighting the creature just led to me getting pecked at. My glasses were also stolen. 

With my boot taken off and my glasses missing, I managed to stumble into another room and shut the door, but it was a small storeroom, with no way out. Suddenly, there was a loud crash and I went to look through the door window and spotted a face honking back at me through it. It scared me so much that I don’t know if my old heart can take another scare like that. It was only then that I realised they had knocked over a cabinet and blocked the door. I could also hear the floor polisher going, I think they were riding it out, back towards the ventilation shaft. 

I was stuck in that small room for another 30 minutes before I was found by security. Never again am I going to be able to go into a small room. 

Report Conclusion: 

-Recommended paid leave and therapy.


	3. incident report code 0XF3

Shinra Electric Power Co incident report code 0XF3

Incident:

The subjects, HONK-1 and HONK-2, were thought to have been silent for 2 days until reports started coming in from Public Records. An intern from HR was doing some research and heard repeated honking sounds. The intern, being unaware of previous incidents, did not report to her superiors the sounds. However, another researcher discovered that the library robots have been tampered with. The library has been steadily been getting more disorganised as books have been moved. When the robots were checked, they honked back and tried to run over the technician.

The Mayor of Midguard has spent the last two days explaining ‘feathery things’ have been “running amok” and “causing a disturbance”. At the time, this was dismissed by security as the mayor being his usual eccentric self. Due to this, it was ignored. We plan to try and listen to the mayor a little more, but as no one volunteered to act as a liaison, a new intern has been assigned to the task.

As for today’s update, we contacted SOLDER to deal with HONK-1 and HONK-2, but it was discovered that Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis have booked a surprise training session in the forests surrounding Junon and all means of contact have been unsuccessful. The Turks were dispatched to locate them. We suspect that this was not a coincidence.

In the meantime, we have reached out to 2nd and 3rd class SOLDERs to contain the situation until the 1st SOLDERs have returned. Only two came forward, 2nd class SOLDER Zack and 3rd class SOLDER Roache. They have been dispatched to Skyview Hall as we suspect that will be the next target.

Expenses:

· Damaged archive robots – 20,000 gill

· Training the Mayors' staff to fix sound files – 1,000 gill per head

Resolution:

Ongoing issue.


	4. Incident report code 0XF4

Shinra Electric Power Co incident report code 0XF4

Incident:

As expected, the Skyview hall was indeed the next target of the HONKS. However, the infiltration method was unexpected, a box. A food delivery was being handled and both specimens jumped out of a box containing Big Boss Breakfast Bars. The bar and kitchen team tried to contain both specimens but failed. Although reports and footage show the specimens didn’t cause direct damage to staff, there appears to have been 3 friendly fire incidences and damage to Shinra Electric Co property.

**Friendly Fire**

o Bar worker Tulip injured her hand when the HR Manager, Karen, thumped the table demanding to see the manager about the delay in receiving her food from the kitchen. Karen hit Tulip’s hand instead of the table.

o Kitchen Manager Kojima badly sprained his ankle when he was accidentally tripped on a broom being tugged by HONK-1. Kojima’s wife was pulling on the broom.

o Facilities worker Heidrich tried to dive on HONK-2 and knocked over Facilities worker Gelds. Gelds was knocked over and suffered mild concussion.

**Damaged property**

o Shipment 43681238-2-BBBB of Big Boss Breakfast Bars must be disposed.

o Broom damaged

o Kitchen appliances damaged

§ Fridge – broken latch

§ Cupboards – 2 dented, 1 broken off hinges (Kojima fell into the door as it was open)

After escaping the kitchen area with the broom handle, they proceeded to chase and trip up HR Manager Karen with the broom handle, before tugging off one of her heals and running away with it. The kitchen staff were ‘told off’ for laughing at the HR manager, but no punishment was given.

4 plant pots were tipped and a 5th one looked like it had been sat in, flattening the plant. Hojo suspects they were testing them for stability and comfort for some reason.

As for the SOLDER’s Zack & Roche, they have disappeared. Reports suggest that they were patrolling and talking when Zack suddenly realised Roche had vanished. Upon calling into the control centre, loud honking sounds interrupted the report and Zack could first been heard cussing before the transmission was cut. No trace has been found, other than Roche’s motorcycle keys. We fear for his mental state.

Expenses:

· Tulip – 20,000 gil compensation

· Karen – 500 gil to cover the cost of the shoe - Also moved out of authoritive position due to behaviour.

· Gelds – 1 weeks leave

· Kojima – 10,000 gil compensation and 1 week leave - Lectured on bringing in significant others into work without reason.

· New shipment of BB Breakfast Bars – 200 gil

· Kitchen repairs – 1,000 gil


End file.
